Monday, December 14, 2009

I Think I Need Cesar Millan

Lately I have been trying to take more control when it comes to my dogs.  They are two sweet and loving pitbulls - a ten month old male, and a seven month old female.  The problem is that they can be very rowdy.  They get very excited when people come around, usually by running and jumping and grabbing at your clothes and tugging on them.  Several of my outfits have sustained holes because of this.  Most of the time they are too excited to listen to any of your commands.  I say "sit" about ten times before either of them actually sits for me.  And going on walks?  That's another thing.  They bark at other dogs and zig zag around you until the leash is wrapped around your body. 

The other day I decided to take them on a short walk since it had been raining.  I had been watching The Dog Whisperer and wanted to see if I could make some progress with them.  The beginning of the walk was a little rocky, with them pulling me and barking at other dogs behind their fences, but I kept going hoping I could get them to calm down.  Everything was okay until we approached a house with another pitbull barking at them.  They began barking and running toward the house.  I was battling it out with two strong and willing pitbulls.  Who do you think would win?  Nothing was going to stop them from getting closer; and it certainly wouldn't be me, a 5'1", 105 pound girl.  My feet were slipping on the wet ground.  I pulled and pulled until one of them ripped my arm across my body.  I let go of the leash in pain.  By this time I was in the driveway, having fallen on my ass.  The other then trampled over me and ran until I let her go too.  And there I was, lying drenched and in pain in this strangers driveway, as my dogs barked, not looking back to see if I was okay.  Luckily for me there was no one on the street.  I couldn't help but lay there and laugh as I wondered what the hell happened.  I picked myself up and managed to get them away from the fence.  Somehow, we made it home...I don't think I will be taking both of them on a walk by myself again.

Help me Cesar!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Another Year Older

In ten days from now, I turn 22 years old.  As I get older, I see that I need to improve upon my self-discipline and self-image.  I struggle with self-discipline the most.  Everyday I sleep in until the last minute and jump out of bed to get ready and rush out the door so I can get to work at a decent time.  I arrive at 10:30, when what I really want to do is start at 9:30.  Another issue is procrastination.  I postpone the more annoying or time consuming activities until I have forgotten about them.  "Eh, I'll do it later" has been my attitude since elementary school (amazingly I was a straight A student).  And the one thing that really bothers me; not finishing what I start.  Too many times have I begun a project that captures my attention, only to get frustrated in all the hard work and abandon it.

The second area I need improvement in is self-image.  I guess I still have a hard time seeing myself as a capable adult.  I still live with my parents and I almost don't picture myself as being on my own (it's expensive living in California!).  I remember feeling this way as a teenager...I couldn't visualize myself driving my own car or having a job; but I did it.  I'm also fearful of not being good enough in what I want to do.  I am a photographer at a portrait studio and even though my customers like my work, I still wonder if I am talented enough have my own studio.

Time to do more "soul searching" I guess.  I know I'll be fine; I just need some reassurance.